When you choose to expose a very personal part of my private life that I will not discuss with you because it is none of your business, it is unethical. How would you feel if someone did this to you or someone in your family?
If I were queer & asked you not to out me, you would respect that. So why will you not respect my choice in this case? Just like queers, converts are often discriminated against & dehumanized by those born Jewish & by non-Jews as well. If you expose me, then you will put me at risk. If you would not spread the word that I were a queer, then why would you spread the word that I am a convert?
This personal fact about my life is not the only thing that makes up my identity, makes me unique or interesting. *Any* Jew could have achieved what I have, regardless of how s/he became Jewish, whether via birth or mikvah. When you engage with me, you are not "talking to a convert", but to a
person who chose. Conversion, by the way, is not actually an interesting subject as it happens every day all over the world.
I have noticed that the only people who disrespect my request for privacy & convince themselves that they must gossip about my conversion are people who are themselves fascinated by converts. Just as it is no longer fashionable for a white man to refer to a black woman as a "Negress", it has never been fashionable for any Jew to gossip about another's Jewish status. It's racism.
I would recommend that you read Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's book,
Words that Hurt, Words that Heal.
